“Enlightenment is ego’s ultimate disappointment.”
― Chögyam Trungpa, Tibetan Buddhist Monk

Leadership and Ego

Strong, effective leaders must certainly maintain a balanced, healthy ego. Their ego must be kept in check by humility and the ability to listen and adapt. The higher a leader rises in the ranks, the more they are at risk of suffering from an out of control, inflated ego. The bigger their ego grows, the more they are at risk of ending up in an insulated bubble, losing touch with their colleagues and their culture. An unchecked ego can warp their perspective and twist their values.

Jennifer Woo, CEO of The Lane Crawford Joyce Group, Asia’s largest luxury retailer, remarked: “Managing our ego’s craving for fortune, fame, and influence is the prime responsibility of any leader. When we’re caught in the grip of the ego’s craving for more power, we lose control. Ego makes us susceptible to manipulation; it narrows our field of vision; and it corrupts our behavior, often causing us to act against our values.”

Bonnie Harken

Bonnie Harken started with iaedp in 2002. She remains its managing director today and is, ipso facto, its sole power. Certainly, twenty-one (21) years far exceeds the reign of any other leader of all other eating disorder organizations.

And yet, troubling issues abound with iaedp. One can’t help but question whether those issues arose or were worsened because of ego.

Iaedp reports that as its Managing Director, Ms. Harken works 40.00 hours per week … for free.  She does not take a salary. However, her dissolved management company, Crossroads Programs, Inc. purportedly has a consulting agreement with iaedp and is paid a base income of $156,000.00.

Non-existent corporation and conflicts of interest

The first of many problems confronting iaedp and Ms. Harken is that her corporation, Crossroads Programs, Inc. was dissolved on June 6, 2016. However, on iaedp’s Form 990 tax returns going back as far as 2017, Ms. Harken directed that her corporation be listed as “inc.” which means, a corporation in good standing. A dissolved corporation does not have the legal right to enter into any contracts or to be paid any amounts of money.  This was pointed out to Ms. Harken.

Her response through her attorneys? Oh, you’re right! It was dissolved in 2016 but it is actually a “sole proprietorship.” The IRS defines “sole proprietorship” simply: “A sole proprietor is someone who owns an unincorporated business by himself or herself.”

Ms. Harken’s sole proprietorship is a for profit entity. Iaedp’s Form 990 reveals that money from iaedp is funding Ms. Harken’s “sole proprietorship” and its “division,” Crossroad Programs for Women. According to Ms. Harken’s social media pages, these dissolved and non-existent entities are providing lectures, group discussions and therapeutic exercises on mental health and eating disorders. Those same services are also provided by iaedp members. So, aren’t we justified in asking whether a gross and obvious conflict of interest exists?

Iaedp has other grave issues.  iaedp was incorporated in California in 1996. In Illinois, an out of state (a/k/a foreign) organization must contact the Office of the Illinois Attorney General’s Charitable Trust Bureau to register as required under the Illinois Charitable Organization Laws prior to any solicitation or holding of charitable assets. In addition, any charities holding or soliciting funds in Illinois must also register with the Illinois Attorney General’s Office prior to any solicitation of funds. This was not done. When this too was pointed out to Ms. Harken, her attorneys responded and in essence said, thank you for pointing this out to us. It is being taken care of.

Of course, in all likelihood, these financial and policy concerns would have been discovered by an independent audited financial statement. The problem is, iaedp has not had an independent audited financial statement prepared going back at least as far as ten (10) years. One can speculate as to the reasons.

Private Inurement Doctrine

Other serious issues exist. There is a doctrine in the IRS Code generally referred to as the Private Inurement Doctrine. Simply put, the “Private Inurement Doctrine” applies to persons, commonly referred to as “insiders,” such as founders, directors, or officers who can influence or control use of an organization’s assets for personal gain.

Examples of private inurement violations include: “Use of organizational assets to support, fund, or otherwise invest in an insider’s business.”

Which brings us back to questions regarding Ms. Harken and her “sole proprietorship, Crossroads. If iaedp is funding Ms. Harken’s “sole proprietorship,” [which is clearly an “insider’s business] which appears to openly compete with iaedp members and chapters, that could present tax issues not just for Ms. Harken and iaedp, but also iaedp’s Board of Directors.

The IRS can hold a board accountable and potentially liable for actions the organization takes that are not within IRS boundaries. This includes fiduciary liability regarding financial matters. These penalties and sanctions can be draconian. They include Intermediate Sanctions penalties assessed on individual board members. Initially, the IRS could fine each board member up to 25 percent of the benefit received. If the nonprofit doesn’t act quickly to comply with the IRS, it could increase to 200 percent, per board member.

To attempt a quiet resolution on these issues, I reached out to Ms. Harken and brought these issues to her attention. In fact, in that correspondence, I stated: “I welcome an open discussion with you in which we attempt to correct any misconceptions and right all wrongs. I also believe this can best be accomplished by bringing in a few third parties to work together collaboratively.”

Lawyer Up and Straw Men Down

Ms. Harken’s response was to immediately “lawyer up.” [which may have been the smartest thing Ms. Harken has done in quite some time.] When I asked for basic information from the attorneys, they refused to provide that information.

Recently, I received an email from the lawyers thanking me for bringing these matters to their attention, that they are taking care of some of those issues. In essence, there was nothing to see here … move along, move along. They also insisted that I cease and desist from “disparaging iaedp.”

And then, Ms. Harken and iaedp’s attorneys attempted to deflect attention away from iaedp’s many issues and brought up their belief that the Morgan Foundation is operating illegally. This is generally known as a “straw man fallacy or argument.”

A straw man fallacy is the fallacious practice of attempting to refute an argument different from the one actually under discussion, while not recognizing or acknowledging the distinction.

Nonetheless, for transparency, I will address this straw man. In 2017, I started the Morgan Foundation to honor my daughter, Morgan, who died from anorexia. But, in early 2020, I intentionally let the Foundation lapse.

Through my investigation and research, I found that there were people in the eating disorder community who instead of helping families, were actually hurting families suffering from this disease. I knew that to expose their conduct and get them out, I had to be aggressive and utilize social media and the court system. I did not want my daughter’s name sullied with that which had to be done. So, the Morgan Foundation does not, and has not solicited donations, accepted donations or co-sponsored any events since it was closed. I leave the Morgan Foundation logo on my law firm stationary because: (1). It is a pretty cool logo, and (2). It is another daily reminder of my beloved daughter.

And therein lies a sin that cannot be forgiven.

To me, there are very few things/people beneath contempt. But, in attempting to take issue with, and besmirch the Morgan Foundation, Ms. Harken besmirched the memory of my daughter. A child who died after fighting eating disorders for seven (7) years with much more courage than people like Ms. Harken could possibly envision. In doing so, Ms. Harken crossed the Rubicon of decency. For that, there will be no forgiveness. For that, there will be no clemency nor mercy.

I understand that when these matters were brought to Ms. Harken’s attention, her response was of indignation, that she would fight until the end. Her actions certainly substantiate that belief. And I can’t help wondering what else is being hidden. After all, isn’t iaedp supposed to be operating to help families with eating disorders? Shouldn’t it be open and transparent regarding all issues to any and all interested parties?

I can’t help but wonder how many times Ms. Harken may have asked not just herself, but others, “At this point, what is in the best interests of iaedp?” Even more importantly, how many times has Ms. Harken asked, “What is in the best interests of the families who are so suffering?”

The unfortunate reality is that out-of-control egos prevent that type of introspection or questioning. Out of control egos prevent leaders of organizations from self-regulating and self-reflecting.

That type of hubris results in leaders not understanding the position of peril in which they placed their organization when that organization’s only true asset is at risk and could be subject to class-based litigation.

In iaedp’s case, that would be the certification program.

And in the next article, we will discuss the manner in which the eating disorder certification program is at great peril and could be subjected to judicial scrutiny.

Captain Renault: “I’m shocked! Shocked to find that gambling is going on in here.”

Croupier: “Your winnings, sir.”

            Casablanca

It is certainly one thing when outsiders attempt to expose issues of great concern regarding organizations. This is particularly true in the eating disorder community.

Outsiders can allege that certain organizations prioritize profit and growth over patient care until the cows come home. We can shout to the mountaintops with righteous indignation. But, more often than not, those admonitions and concerns are taken with the same pound of salt given to that old man who yells at the clouds or hollers out, “You kids get off my lawn!”

But, what if …

What if damning remarks are instead made by insiders in an organization? And not just any insiders, but a Chief Executive Officer and other high-ranking officers? Officers who know. Officers with first-hand knowledge and information. In fact, what if a Chief Executive Officer was fired for expressing concerns to a Board of Directors and the private equity owners/overlords? What are we to make of this situation and is it even remotely possible that this situation did, or does exist?

It does. I give you Exhibit 1 … our old friends at Castlewood/Alsana.

After Jennifer Steiner, the former CEO of Castlewood/Alsana was fired, she left to invest in and start a new entity based in California, Lightfully Behavioral. But all was not rosy with her departure as CEO of Castlewood/Alsana.

In fact, on Pearl Harbor Day, December 7, 2021, Treatment Center Acquisition Company, LLC filed suit against Ms. Steiner in a California state court. So, who is Treatment Center Acquisition Company, LLC?

Follow along on this one. Apparently, Treatment Center Acquisition Company, LLC is a Missouri limited liability company doing business as Alsana. But then, it claims its majority owner is the Riverside Company which is a Delaware company. However, its sole member is listed as ED Holdings-Castlewood, Inc. a Texas corporation. (A member of an LLC is an owner.) [I’m confused too.] Let’s just call them Alsana.

In the lawsuit, Alsana alleged Ms. Steiner breached a settlement agreement she entered into with Alsana, intentionally solicited and targeted Alsana’s employees to come to Lightfully and made disparaging and denigrating comments about Alsana and its ownership entities.

Now in the past, allegations have been made against Alsana by third parties (including me) that Alsana was more concerned about profiteering and growth at the expense of patient care. But, those allegations, no matter how well-founded, were made by outsiders, by third parties. By people who did not have first-hand knowledge. But … no longer.

NOW, PERSONS ON THE INSIDE, ALSANA’S FORMER HIGHEST RANKING OFFICERS ARE MAKING THE SAME STATEMENTS IN SWORN DECLARATIONS FILED IN A COURT OF LAW.

So, let’s get to them.

Amber Claudon

Amber Claudon, the former Senior Director of Clinical Programming and Training for Alsana for approximately 1 ½ years stated the following under penalties of perjury:

“As I explained in my June 28th cover email to Ms. Devin which attached my resignation letter, I was resigning from Alsana because I was ”witnessing what I believe to be a severance from the Alsana clinical product that I believe in.” I went on to note that I had ”witnessed a slow shift towards prioritizing growth above all other goals even to the detriment of 19 the clinical product.”

“I left Alsana freely, voluntarily, and of my own accord because I was concerned about the shift towards prioritizing growth above all other goals, even to the detriment of the clinical product, and I knew (from my time at Alsana) that Ms. Steiner’s was intently focused on patient care.”

Andrea Hollowell

Andrea Hollowell, the former Vice President for Growth for Alsana after having been an employee of Alsana for approximately 4 years, stated the following under penalties of perjury:

“I was resigning from Alsana because I had significant concerns about the company’s direction after Ms. Steiner left, and more particularly, I was concerned that Alsana was prioritizing growth and revenue above all other goals, to the detriment of patient care and the integrity of the business.”

“In the letter, Alsana threatened to sue me if l did not provide it with “assurances” that I was complying  with my post- employment obligations to Alsana.”

“As one might expect, receiving this type of letter from Alsana’s lawyer was very scary and nerve-racking.  Despite the fact I had done nothing wrong, Alsana’s letter made me question whether I should continue working at Lightfully.”

“Between July 2021 and mid-September 2021, I had many conversations with Ms. Steiner and certain other former Alsana employees who received similar threatening letters from Alsana, including Nicole Siegfried and Clodagh Rafferty. We constantly discussed the letters, their adverse emotional and psychological impact on us, and the impact these letters  and Alsana’s continued threats were having on Lightfully.”

Clodagh Rafferty

Clodagh Rafferty, the former Chief Operating Officer for Alsana after having been an employee of Alsana for approximately 2 1/2 years, stated the following under penalties of perjury:

“As I explained to Ms. Devin, and as I relayed to the attorneys that Alsana asked me to speak with, I was resigning from Alsana because I was concerned that Alsana was prioritizing growth and revenue above all other goals, to the detriment of patient care.”

“In the letter, Alsana threatened to sue me if did not provide it with “assurances that – [I] have not and do not plan to violate [my] obligations to Alsana[,]” including my purported obligation to comply with a non-solicitation provision set forth in certain Alsana employment related documents.”

“Although Alsana never filed a litigation against me, its threatening letters took a toll on my business relationship with Ms. Steiner. It has become increasingly difficult to perform my work as I deal with the threats by Alsana, and I continue to have serious concerns about my future at Lightfully for fear of what aggressive and vindictive course of conduct Alsana might direct against me next.”

Nicole Siegfried

Nicole Siegfried, the former Chief Clinical Officer for Alsana for approximately 4 years, stated the following under penalties of perjury:

“At the request of Alsana’ s Board, on or around June 16, 2021, I met with Margaret Sonnier, who I understood to be a labor and employment attorney retained by Alsana to investigate the clinical quality concerns that I described.”

“As I explained in my meeting with Ms. Devin, my follow-up meeting with Ms. Devin and Mr. McKernan, and my meeting with Ms. Sonnier, I was resigning from Alsana because I was concerned about the company’s direction after Ms. Steiner left, and more particularly, I was concerned that Alsana was prioritizing growth and revenue above all other goals to the detriment of patient care, staff training and retention, and the company’s culture. I also felt as though, after Ms. Steiner left the company, I was not being provided with important information, and that my suggestions for fixing the various problems at Alsana were dismissed or rejected. Finally, I found Ms. Devin, Alsana’s new CEO, to be very difficult to work with, as she often blamed other people for the issues that were ongoing at Alsana, which created an environment of fear, rather than collaboration.”

“Needless to say, receiving this type of letter from Alsana’s lawyer was very unnerving and scary. Despite the fact that I had done nothing wrong, Alsana’s letter made me question whether I should continue working at Lightfully.”

[Forgive me as I break the 4^th wall with this authorial interjection … Hi Nicole! Are you still on iaedp’s Board of Directors? If so, you will get to deal with me again in the future!]

Jennifer Steiner

And finally, from Jennifer Steiner, the former Chief Executive Officer of Alsana, who was sued by whatever entity owns the Alsana name, stated the following under penalties of perjury:

“As its CEO, I reported to the Company’s Board of Directors (the “Board”). The Riverside Company (“Riverside”), a private equity company, has been the majority owner of Alsana since December 2016, and it was the majority owner during my tenure as Alsana’s CEO.”

“Among many other things, during my tenure as Alsana’s CEO, the company nearly tripled revenue, with projections to have revenue quadrupled by the end of 2021. And between 2017 and 2020, under my leadership, Alsana’s EBITDA (Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation and Amortization) increased nearly ten-fold, with projections for the increase to be sixteen-fold by the end of 2021.”

“Despite all of my success, however, significant issues with Alsana, its Board and Riverside developed over time, which ultimately caused Alsana to terminate me. Specifically, I became concerned with the direction of the company and what I considered to be Alsana’s decision to maximize growth and revenue above all else. When I refused to go along with certain decisions of Alsana’s Board, including decisions that I believed would jeopardize patient care, I was terminated.”

“Unfortunately, almost from the beginning of my new business venture, it was clear that Alsana would do everything in its power to wrongfully prevent Lightfully’s growth, development and success, and to wrongfully prevent me from operating a business in the mental healthcare space.”

“Alsana’s tortious course of conduct began in July 2021 when it started harassing my key employees, Andie Hollowell, Clodagh Rafferty and Nicole Siegfried. All of these individuals are former Alsana employees who occupied signified roles at Alsana, and I am informed and believe that all of them left Alsana because they were unhappy with Alsana’s business practices.”

“As one might expect (particularly for lay people like us), these threatening letters were very intimidating. Despite the fact that we did nothing wrong, these letters scared all of us, made us question whether we should continue moving forward with our business plan, caused severe anxiety and stress, and forced us to delay certain aspects of the business that would have otherwise moved forward more quickly, ultimately resulting in lost revenue for me and Lightfully.”

“And perhaps most significantly, Alsana’s threats and continued harassment of my key employees have disrupted our business relationship. Not only have those threats made the business relationship more costly in terms of legal fees and money spent to defend their interests, but those threats also have taken a substantial toll on our business relationship that I am not quite sure could ever be remedied.”

“Of course, Alsana’s actions created continued and prolonged stress and anxiety for all of us.”

“Alsana’s bad faith and tortious conduct, which I believe was intentionally designed to frustrate my business and unfairly compete with me, has caused me to suffer both monetary damages and adverse mental health consequences.”

“Finally, Alsana’s tortious and bad faith conduct, which has now spanned almost a year, has caused me significant stress and anxiety, and has been damaging to my mental health. Ever since my key employees received their first threating letters from Alsana in July 2021, I have been living in fear of what irrational, unpredictable and aggressive course of conduct Alsana might attempt next in an effort to damage the business that I have worked so hard to develop, and what Alsana might attempt to do to drive me out of the mental health care industry altogether. Even worse, I fear that Alsana’s wrongful conduct will not relent (regardless of whether I am successful in this litigation) and that my career, financial stability, and ability to care for my family will be severely compromised by Alsana’s actions, which appear to me to be guided solely by vengeance.”

Insider Information

Those statements were all made by Alsana’s former officers. Their highest-ranking officers. Officers whose job duties included knowing that information. Officers who brought their concerns to Alsana’s Board of Directors. Officers who were either fired or voluntarily quit because of their concerns.

Officers who stated under oath that Alsana was prioritizing growth and revenue above all other goals to the detriment of patient care and the integrity of the business; Alsana was sending threatening letters to those former Officers; Alsana was directing aggressive and vindictive courses of conduct against former Officers; Alsana was not providing its officers with the information they needed to do their jobs; that an atmosphere of fear and not collaboration had been created; Alsana was engaged in tortious and bad faith conduct; that when the highest ranking Officer refused to abide by certain decisions of Alsana’s Board, decisions which she believed would jeopardize patient care, she was terminated. Harrassing former officers. Creating fear and anxiety. Again, these words are NOT mine. But, former Officers.

We also know that whatever amounts a patient’s insurance provider does not pay, Alsana sends invoices and demands for payment to their former patients/victims and presumably reports these debts to credit reporting agencies.

Much has been written in the past about Alsana’s sketchy therapists and direct care staff employees.

And now … this.

As a parent of a child suffering from eating disorders, you must ask yourself, should I entrust the very life of my precious child to this organization?

If you are a pediatrician, if you are a medical profession, why would you entrust the life of your patient to an organization like this? Especially since you could be liable for negligent referral.

Why does the eating disorder community not police itself and address organizations like this?

Why?

“First, they came for the Capitalists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Capitalist (well, I sorta, kinda am).

Then they came for the Intellectual Moderates
And I did not speak out
Because well, I thought no rational person would listen to those loons.

Then they came for the Rational, Science Based Treatment Providers
And I did not speak out
Because well, those Treatment Providers Should Have Known Better.

Then they came for Me
And there was no one left … Uh …
Actually, no, they didn’t come for me since they do not have the courage to face people individually.”

            Steven Dunn, adapted without permission

Once the social injustice movement began its hate-filled, self-loathing rampage through society, it was inevitable that it would come for the sciences. This movement seeks to replace well-established, evidence-based ideas with postmodern victimization and vacuous pablum. Examples abound. Charles Darwin wasn’t a pioneering scientist but a racist, sexist white man whose problematic views “undermined” his work and legacy. BMI [although not a human being] is racist. Biotech crops aren’t a yield-boosting innovation; they are a tool of Western Imperialistic Colonizers looking to exploit the developing world.

Extremist political activism that openly rejects the ability to gather objective facts about the world is jeopardizing scientific discourse and creating divisiveness in mental health communities. 

In the past decade, the Social Justice Warriors/Loons have published a number of articles pushing this theatre of the absurd. Some of the articles have included the following titles:

Weight is a social justice issue.

Fat is a social justice issue.

Fat is not the problem; fat stigma is a social justice issue.

Weight bias is a social justice issue.

Obesity is a social justice issue.

Ob*sity is a social justice issue.

Eating disorders are a social justice issue.

Urban obesity crisis is a social justice issue.

Childhood obesity is a social justice issue.

Weight stigma is a social justice issue.

Obesity bias in the gym is a social justice issue.

United States Obesity Epidemic is a social justice issue.

Obesity Epidemic is a social justice issue.

Mental Health is a social justice issue.

World Mental Health Day: Prioritize social justice.

Mental Illness Stigma is a social justice issue.

Health Equity is a social justice issue.

Fat Acceptance as social justice.

3 Social Justice Issues of Obesity.

Woke Science Denial: Social Justice Comes For ‘Obesity,’ And Other Harmful Language

Anything, any issue, any stance about which the Loons disagree becomes fodder for the absurd. In fact, the Loons would have us believe that everything is a social justice issue. Which caused me to attempt to find a viable definition of “social justice.” Some definitions include:

“Social justice manifests fairness in society, including fairness in access to healthcare, employment, housing, quality education, and many more.”

“Social justice is the view that everyone deserves equal economic, political and social rights and opportunities. Social workers aim to open the doors of access and opportunity for everyone, particularly those in greatest need.”

“Social justice is aimed at promoting a society which is just and equitable, valuing diversity, providing equal opportunities to all its members, irrespective of their disability, ethnicity, gender, age, sexual orientation or religion, and ensuring fair allocation of resources and support for their human rights.”

Some may be surprised to learn that social justice is not a recent phenomenon. In fact, the notion of social justice goes back thousands of years.  Evidence exists that philosophers such as Plato (427–347 B.C.), Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274), and Immanuel Kant (1724–1804) addressed social justice issues.

However, today, most discussions around social justice explore what a “just” society must look like, and the injustices people face because of factors such as race, gender, ethnicity, class, religion, age, and sexual orientation.

Unquestionably, a compassionate society must address these factors. And yet, the Loon extremists, the alarmists, will continue to not only fail to achieve their utopian goals, but they also won’t even approach the same area code of their social justice goals. Besides being held back by their “tik-tok mentality and room temperature IQ” they fail for one fundamental reason. And that is they do not understand that …

JUSTICE IS NOT A ZERO-SUM GAME!

When it comes to justice, one person’s gain is not another person’s loss. When it comes to justice we must commit to ensure “justice for ALL.” The world needs MORE justice not less justice. Justice is for everyone. Working to ensure justice for a specific group of people does not diminish the availability of justice for others. It is not a zero-sum game because justice is not a finite quality.

This reasoning is proven by examining just one real-world example. That is, the opening of economic opportunities for women in the past 50 years.

The less enlightened, more Neanderthal-like men argue that they may have lost some psychic benefit in feeling superior to women. They are idiots. That is because not just men as a group, but society as a whole is much better off economically now that women pursue all sorts of careers that were previously closed to them.

In pursuing careers commensurate with their talent, women make American society much wealthier, which means that all people have better doctors, better products to buy, better job opportunities and so on. And strong, independent, intelligent women make the best partners, mentally, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.

And yet, the Social Justice Warriors/Loons in the eating disorder community fail to understand this reality. Instead, they talk of “centering marginalized individuals with eating disorders.”  They talk of “centering and supporting BiPOC, LGBTQ+, fat therapists and professionals.” And then, they state that, “This is no space for white, straight and thin folks to jump in.” They file ethics complaints on presentations given by men, not because the topic is improper, but because they do not like or are afraid of certain men. They attempt to have men banned from being on site at their conferences with instructions to have them escorted off the premises should they resist. Behind the scenes they oppose symposiums organized by men, not because the topics at that event don’t need to be discussed but because of their own self-loathing and fear. Fear of being excluded. Fear that their own insecurities and inadequacies will be brought to light. Fear that science and reason will win the day. Irrational, all-encompassing fear.

One would be justified in thinking that even though these Social Justice Loons brainlessly prattle on about their belief that they can cure all social justice issues, they would and must respect the sanctity of the therapy room. That they would remember their sole fiduciary duty is to the patient who is seeking, in some cases, life saving help. 

You could think that.

But you would be wrong. There is a sect of the Social Justice Loons who advocate that therapists should not only be allowed but are obligated to reduce the priority of their patient’s needs in order to pursue social justice agendas.

There is Marcella Raimondo, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Kaiser Permanent’s eating disorder clinic in Oakland, California. She conducts a one-hour course on the need to incorporate social justice perspectives and practices in our understandings of and approach to eating disorders treatment. She states that her theory is irrefutable.

Then, there is Shelly Russell-Mayhew, PhD. In 2006, Ms. Russell-Mayhew who was then an Assistant Professor in the Division of Applied Psychology at the University of Calgary had published an article entitled, “Eating Disorders and Obesity as Social Justice Issues: Implications for Research and Practice.” She is now a full professor at this school.

Some of her statements in the article include:

“Social justice is an emerging concept in counseling (Helms, 2003; Kiselica & Robinson, 2001).  The purpose of this paper is to begin to explore the usefulness of considering eating  disorders  and  obesity  as  social  justice  issues.  A social justice approach to counseling refers to using counseling to confront injustice and inequality.” [emphasis added]

“The purpose of social justice work is twofold. Firstly, it is meant to increase a client’s sense of personal power or efficacy (Kiselica & Robinson).  Secondly, sociopolitical change should result.  Oftentimes, unconventional approaches are needed in order to reach both goals. Kiselica and Robinson (2001) “…urge counselors to identify some human condition that moves them so deeply it inspires a personal moral imperative to make this world a better place by advocating for others…”

“The overriding goal of social justice is ‘full and equal participation of all groups in a society that is mutually shaped to meet their needs.  Social justice includes a vision of society in which the distribution of resources is equitable and all members are physically and psychologically safe and secure (Bell, 1997, p. 3).”

“Current approaches to the treatment and prevention of weight-related issues tend to see the problem as within the individual.  A social justice approach pushes the boundaries of problem definition beyond the individual to consider larger systemic influences.”

Using counseling to confront injustice and inequality? Good Lord. Why not just brainwash your patient “Manchurian Candidate” style and be done with it?!

In essence, Ms. Russell-Mayhew is advocating violating the sanctity of the therapy room by abandoning resiliency, perseverance, strength and resolve … and instead, embrace being a victim, placing blame elsewhere, especially on the patriarchy and keeping your hand extended outward, not to help another soul to rise, but to demand payment because you are owed something.

Social justice warriors have created such chaos and divisiveness in the eating disorder community because of their self-loathing, insecurities, tribal mentality and cowardice. They care not that families who suffer from this illness continue to suffer. They seem to only care about their naïve, ill-founded beliefs and trying to alleviate their own inner turmoil.

Enough.

In future articles, names will be named, people and organizations will be called out, the reasons behind such conduct will always be disclosed. Families will know who and what you are. Fact based ethics complaints will be filed. Credentialing boards will be notified.

Especially for those Loons who irrationally fear and hate.

Only now, you have a reason to fear.

Today is National Grief Awareness Day. It was formerly known as National Bereavement Day. Apparently, we need to be reminded of people who grieve, and August 30 was the day chosen to raise awareness about the experience of grief. In fact, there are some websites announcing that this is the day we “celebrate” Grief Awareness Day.

National Grief Awareness Day comes one day before National Child Identity Theft Awareness Day and one day after National Lemon Juice, National More Herbs Less Salt and National Chop Suey Day.

Lemon Juice/More Herbs Less Salt/Chop Suey … Grief … Child Identity Theft Awareness. That’s quite the trifecta.

Today is the day that counselors, therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists may delve deeply into the five stages of grief.

And yet, we know that grief is as individual as our fingerprints. For some, grief destroys. For some, it lingers hauntingly defining that person in harmful ways. For others, it may fill them with incredible purpose and resolve. Regardless, let’s see if we can squeeze that pesky grief into five (5) easy to understand categories.

Mental health professionals may tell their patients that loss can be among the most challenging human experiences an individual can face and that coping with grief is seldom easy. Some will remind their patients that everyone grieves differently and on their own timeline. And then, they may say but we can still use similar methods to care for our individual grief while we attempt to heal.

Because that is what academic books and articles instruct them to say. Of course, thirty (30) years ago, those books emphasized resiliency, our parents taught us to stand up for ourselves, that the world owed us nothing and if we got knocked down, “rub a little dirt on it,” pick yourself up and forge ahead. We were told that life is not fair, and you will be given nothing.

Today, those books along with the numerous insipid experts on social media emphasize that everyone is a victim, that life should be easy, but because life can sometimes be hard, they are owed something, they are special and precious and unique. The blame game is ever present. But, if you stay in your own tribe, you can remain safe, secure and will never have to face adversity. Then, those mental health professionals circle about, discuss their pronouns, come to grips with what “privilege” they may be attempting to overcome, try to invent new genders and then rail vociferously about the evils of white male supremacy and how they must seek to tear down the hallowed halls of patriarchy.

Perhaps that is where many mental health professionals fail. Especially when it comes to grief. Especially if your patient is a parent who had a child die. That type of tragedy brings its own special grief. For mental health professionals, that type of grief is its own unique black hole. It is complex, can be all encompassing and has the potential to consume a patient’s very soul. Unless you have experienced that type of grief and come out the other side, you cannot possibly understand the depth of the ocean of immeasurable grief through which a bereaved parent must swim each and every day in order to simply survive.

So, for those mental health professionals who insist on virtual signaling by listing their pronouns and proudly announce their privileges and self-loathe because of the color of their skin or the culture in which they were raised … stay in the shallow end of the mental health treatment pool.

Because some types of grief are far too complex, far too unique and far above your pay grade for you to provide wisdom or guidance. Mental health and grief are incredibly complex. And sometimes arise in the most unexpected and tragic ways.

Which brings us to … Peter Robbins.

Even though you may think you do not know Peter Robbins, most of you undoubtedly do.

He was a child actor who, as he matured, had mental health issues sink its insidious claws into him.  He was diagnosed with bipolar issues, paranoid schizophrenia and addiction. As his mental health issues worsened, Robbins was incarcerated at the California Institute for Men in Chino and was later transferred to a psychiatric hospital because of his mental conditions. Robbins was quoted as saying, “I would recommend to anybody that has bipolar disorder to take it seriously because your life can turn around in the span of a month like it did to me.”

Robbins was eventually released from his incarceration. Tragically, on January 18, 2022, Robbins took his own life.

So, who was Peter Robbins?

One of the best-known lines delivered by Robbins was, “I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel.”

Discussing the depth of that moment years later, in an interview, Robbins asked, “How could there be something wrong with a 9-year-old boy?”

Peter Robbins was the actor who first gave voice to the beloved Peanuts character, Charlie Brown. 56 years after Robbins delivered his iconic line, he took his own life at 65 years old.

And we may never know the grief, the tragedy, the anguish which existed in this man whose voice meant so much to us in our childhood.

For any parent who has had their beloved child taken there are two days every year in which their emotions, their feelings, their thoughts are particularly challenging.

The first is your child’s birthday. This day is one of the greatest, most soulful days possible. You are filled with a joy, a wonder, that until that day, you could only dream about. The future is unlimited for your new child. Your family’s name will be carried on. You feel immortal. And whatever mistakes you may have made in the past, you vow that your child will not make those same mistakes. This is day one of what unconditional love looks like.

The second is the day your child is taken from you. This horrific day represents the polar opposite. A parent’s greatest fear. The one thing that fills you with unspeakable anguish. To have your child die in your arms, or while holding their hand. An anguish you never knew existed grips you. This is day one of what could turn into a dark abyss where, as a parent you painfully trudge through the remainder of your life in the shadows of despair.

Today, August 10th is the 30^th birthday of my beloved daughter, Morgan.

While she was with us, Morgan had many friends. Her personality was huge. This video, made by Highland Park Methodist Church years ago, is so representative of her:

https://www.facebook.com/hpumc/videos/10155356614162888

During Morgan’s many long years of treatment, she inspired and helped others. And now? The reality is her friends, those whom she helped, inspired laughed with, cried with, have moved on with their lives.

As well they should! 

I hope that occasionally, they embrace some loving memories of Morgan and what she meant to them, and it makes them smile. I sincerely hope that they have moved on and are leading lives filled with hope, joy, laughter and love.

Three days ago, August 7^th, was the 14^th commemoration day of when Kelly Burk was taken. A day which will forever be a personal tragedy for her parents, Nancy and Randy Burk.

Kelly’s light, her legacy, in addition to being carried in the hearts of Nancy and Randy, is also being kept vibrant through the work being done through the Something for Kelly Foundation, a foundation started by Kelly’s aunt, Patti Geolat. SFK holds an annual golf tournament in the St. Louis area organized by Kelly’s two brothers. This tournament is sold out each year well in advance of the date.

Nancy, Randy, Patti and Kelly’s siblings tell us that in life, Kelly was a force to be reckoned with. The oldest of her siblings, Kelly was the one “large and in charge.” A force of nature. Unlike Morgan, Kelly did not go to any treatment center nor receive extended care for anorexia. Kelly had a husband. A husband who woke up one dark day to find that Kelly did not wake up. Kelly was taken during the night.

But Morgan and Kelly … and so many others, are and will be forever inextricably and sadly linked.

To this end, in the eating disorder community, the harsh reality is that Morgan and Kelly are just statistics.  Long forgotten. Just two more souls whose lives were extinguished, once every 62 minutes … or under the current “leadership void” in the community, now once every 52 minutes.

Imagine being a leader in a community that while under your watch, the mortality rate worsened. The statistics worsened. More lives are being taken in greater numbers. And parents, members of this horrible club where the admission fee is paid for with the dearest blood possible cannot and should not, tolerate this.

I have been told by more than one person that they believe I want to tear down the eating disorder community. For those Social Injustice Warriors, those who place their own extreme politics above all else, those so-called advocates who are causing such tremendous harm, who are attempting to distract from helping the people who suffer the gravest from eating disorders, there is a modicum of truth to that belief.

There may have once been a time when therapy was “therapy.” Even though stigma was mighty and overwhelming, therapy was directed toward the individual and societal and cultural phenomenon were irrelevant. Pronouns and privileges were irrelevant because the person suffering from eating disorders was all that mattered.

Now, there appears to be mandatory debate and discussion of whether a counselor or patient is “cisgendered, or in a para-normative relationship; or how you are required to admit whatever “privilege” you may have and if you don’t, you are labeled a bigot; or the evils of healthism or ageism or any other type of “ism”; or the insipid, virtue signaling of pronouns; or the pedantic platitudes of militant fat activists trumpeting their own fear and self-loathing.

Morgan Claire Dunn deserves better.

Kelly Burk Knobbe deserves better.

The thousands of children who have died from anorexia nervosa deserve better.

At one time, the community may have been unified in their firm determination to better learn how to recognize eating disorders at an early stage, how best they can help those suffering from this illness and how best their lives can be saved. Now?

The divisiveness in the community is reprehensible. The in-fighting. The eating disorder community leadership has debased itself by becoming “A Cool Kids, Mean Girls Club” comprised of very far left leaning, liberal loons who turned a deadly mental illness into a social justice drum banging, political cartoon. Cowardice, backstabbing, divisiveness, ignorance of medical science and spewing falsehoods are the tools of their trade.

Morgan Claire Dunn deserves better.

Kelly Burk Knobbe deserves better.

The thousands of children who have died from anorexia nervosa deserve better.

And so, to those who are obstructionists, to those who seek to create chaos and divisiveness, to those who have wrongly been given a platform because of their one-sided, social justice and/or political positions, to those who seek to spread their extreme political views in a community which instead should be embracing the highest level of care for the treatment of eating disorders you are on notice. You will be called out. You will be exposed.

Finally, to those who may wonder or question whether Morgan would want her daddy to continue with this crusade, to use whatever meager gifts I may have to continue on this path … I know she would be hounding me mercilessly; she would be relentless in her admonitions to never give up. To be bold.

And so, as a birthday present to you my Morgan this year, I will continue to embrace my love for you in my heart, in my head, and in my soul, and I vow to not give up. Too many lives have been needlessly taken.

You deserve better from the community. All of those who have been taken deserve better. We all deserve better.

And so … “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.”

“How have I come to this?
How did I slip and fall?
How did I throw half a lifetime away
Without any thought at all?

This should have been my time
It’s over, it never began
I closed my eyes to so much for so long
and I no longer can…“

In 2000, Sir Elton John’s and Tim’s Rice’s Aida premiered on Broadway. Its run lasted four (4) years.

One of the more powerful songs in Aida was entitled, “I Know the Truth.” A haunting yet beautiful aria sung by Sherie Renee Scott as Amneris [the daughter of the pharaoh] when she discovers that her betrothed is in love with another woman. The heartache and pain in her voice is gut wrenching.

A future she assured herself would happen was spirited away. She realized that the future she imagined, as well as her past and present were mirages, they never existed, and she did not have the insight, compassion or wisdom to understand since she was caught up with by own life, selfishness and perceived needs.

With that mindset, I can’t help but wonder how have we come to this, how the eating disorder community became so caught up in not just politics, but the intransigent, tribal mentality which defines the two major political parties today. Instead of looking at the substance of a message, how did the eating disorder community get to a point where it immediately closes its ears and eyes to any message being conveyed by certain people? How did we become so divisive?

How did so many in the community come to believe that a deadly mental illness is mainly a social justice condition and presumably can be treated by addressing universal social justice issues? Especially, since no credible facts, reason or logic support the hypothesis that eating disorders are social justice issues. That is a mirage conjured by persons with their own social agendas. How have we come to this?

However, if a person wishes to assert “… the mental health of American society, particularly its marginalized members, is ravaged by the intentional, avoidable, inequitable distribution of resources, opportunities and basic protections. The most valuable framework for understanding the poor mental health outcomes and mental health inequities in this country is one of social injustice.”

NOW you’re talking.

And you would be hard pressed to find a stronger ally than me on that issue.

The choices available to people with disabilities, or minorities, or ethnic communities or the disenfranchised get clouded by the reality that they have more limited access to medical care and support.

It is not really a choice when society makes it incredibly difficult to access health care support. It is not really a choice when a treatment center does not accept any type of health insurance. It is not a choice when a treatment center does not accept Medicare or Medicaid. It is not really a choice when the eating disorder treatment industry makes it incredibly difficult to access health care support. Or in some cases, perpetuates this inequitable system.

But that is not an eating disorder issue. The inequitable system is a broad based, societal dysfunction which impacts medical and mental health care across a vast spectrum. To limit broad based lack of access to medical and mental health care support as an “eating disorder issue” cruelly minimizes the crippling national impact resulting from the inequities in our health care system.

With all of the perceived differences within the community, the tribal mentality, the incredibly naïve and flawed view that research and treatment are a zero-sum game, one fundamental commonality, one inalienable truth exists … that is, all persons, regardless of status, race, gender, socioeconomic or any other status are entitled to the very best of mental health care.

Perhaps another foundational building block is that we must emphasize the needs of our families who are suffering from eating disorders today, at this time. We must have a triage mentality. Those who are the most ill will receive priority of treatment.

Those are the rallying points. Those are THE goals common to us all. That is the bedrock upon which we can build.

So, how does the eating disorder community effectively address an inequitable healthcare system? How does it provide collaborative real, workable solutions?

The most common proposition set forth by activists is to “begin to make progress, the mental health system must transform to dismantle the underlying structural forces of racism, sexism, oppression and discrimination, and must support the advancement of policies and practices that promote justice and equity in mental health access and care.”

This in essence calls for abolishing fear, self-loathing, lack of wisdom, ego and insecurities which exist within individuals while at the same time, dismantling the Constitutional Republic known as the United States.

So, assuming we cannot dismantle the Republic in a January 6^th manner, or wave a magic wand and make everyone’s negative qualities disappear, how best can we start to come together and rid ourselves of our divisiveness? How can we build upon the few, self-evident fundamental truths so that we can start to address inequities?

Perhaps to start with, we must first find a way to look past our own individual weaknesses and foibles, admit our egos have lead us astray, admit we do not have all of the answers. We must get past the insipid tribal mentality. We must be willing to openly admit, “I was wrong.” We must stop focusing on our differences and start the building process be embracing our common goals. And we must become not so frightened that we cannot look to those with whom we disagree and simply say, “Let’s talk.”

One small step at a time. It’s a start. And it’s not too late.

The common good. That which we have in common, that which we share. Embrace that. Then start to build.

The song, “I Know the Truth,” ends with the following lines:

I try to blame it on fortune
Some kind of twist in my fate
But I know the truth and it haunts me
I learned it a little too late

Oh, I know the truth and it mocks me
I know the truth and it shocks me
I learned it a little too late
Too late.

This aria can be found here:

Moreso than ever before, we find ourselves at an hour of change and challenge. A time of hope and fear. In an age of knowledge and ignorance. And as our knowledge greatly increases so too the greater our ignorance unfolds.

If statistics are to be believed, eating disorders claim the life of our loved ones at the rate of once every 52 minutes. All their hopes, all their dreams, all their aspirations, all their love and sacred beauty existing within their spirit and not just their soul, but our soul, extinguished and left scattered to the greatest unknown which awaits any human being.

And yet during these trying times, why does it seem like we have stopped striving to unleash the unlimited genius of humankind? I cannot, I will not believe that we have reached that dark place in our evolution that we place individual ego and self-absorption over the desperate, treasured needs of our families.

But, the divisiveness, the turmoil in the eating disorder community appears to be greater than ever before as we collectively place our individual demands and the flawed self-assurance of “our infallible wisdom and nature” above the needs of our families.

Surely, we cannot, we must now allow the ego, the fear, the self-loathing of individuals and cultural movements to predominate over life and death decisions. The needs of our most critically ill must come before all else … regardless of race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, wealth, privilege, age, gender or profiteering.

We cannot, we must not allow the continuation of the perpetuation of messages of fear, of misguided egos, of ignorance of science, medical and mental health wisdom and knowledge to predominate over that which can and will save even more lives.

A greater knowledge must be explored and expanded by intelligent discussion, debate and mutual respect. We must reach out to those whose views differ from our own. We do not have the luxury of ignoring studies or guidelines which can be used to educate our physicians.

For example, how many people in the general public were aware that the American Psychiatric Association issued new eating disorder treatment guidelines and implementation tools in February of 2023 … just a few short months ago? Where was the professional discussion of these guidelines?  How many families know about this? Why was this not front and center in explanatory articles issued by the REDC, and the EDCoalition, and NEDA, and iaedp and Project HEAL and AED and the National Alliance and every other organization? And this is not a solitary omission.

How many people and organizations committed to participating in the “Legacy of Hope” three (3) short years ago only to turn around and betray the very principles for which it stood because of their own self-loathing and flawed sense of self-importance?

What cataclysmic event must happen before this dysfunctional community recognizes the need to come together? How many more of our children must die? What must happen before our professionals put their own individual egos aside and agree to work in a great, collaborative movement from which only great deeds can be accomplished?

For that matter, what do we look for in those who have embraced enlightenment, understand that they do not have all of the answers and seek greater wisdom versus those who place themselves above all others?

Those with a higher self, a greater calling anticipate the next moment.  They pursue the next moment. Their arms are open … as are their eyes, hearts and souls.

And this must become the mantra of our professionals in the eating disorder community. For it is only through collaboration that we can accomplish great and mighty deeds. That we can dare to save lives.

We do not have the luxury of allowing yelling, protesting, attempting to boycott, and shrill screeching to become your calling card. For those qualities are merely a cacophony of loud noise. Noise that is drowned out by the quiet confidence of humility, grace and selflessness.

We must reach out to those who disagree with our views. And in the spirit of professional cooperation and with respect, discuss those differences. We will not always reach consensus. The issues perplexing our professionals and frightening our families are far too complex and beyond our current reach.

But, the opportunity to save more lives, to heal wounds caused by egocentric behavior and to establish a greater community is before us.

We must embrace it.

“Travel Advisories” are the latest straw man to be utilized by biased, politically backed organizations. Any person or organization can issue a Travel Advisory. Travel Advisories do not have to be based on facts, reason or logic. Fear alone will suffice.

On May 20, 2023, the NAACP issued a “Travel Advisory” for persons traveling to the State of Florida.  This travel advisory stated in material part:

“Florida is openly hostile toward African Americans, people of color and LGBTQ+ individuals. [emphasis added]

“Before traveling to Florida, please understand that the state of Florida devalues and marginalizes the contributions of, and the challenges faced by African Americans and other communities of color.”

“Once again, hate-inspired state leaders have chosen to put politics over people. Governor Ron DeSantis and the state of Florida have engaged in a blatant war against principles of diversity and inclusion and rejected our shared identities to appeal to a dangerous, extremist minority…”

Not to be outdone, the National Association of Gun Rights issued a “Travel Advisory” for persons in or traveling to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. This “Travel Advisory” was issued in response to that State Legislature’s 140-page bill, House Docket 4420. HD 4420 is a comprehensive gun control bill.

In 2023, Amnesty International issued a “Travel Advisory” for the entire United States. This “Travel Advisory” calls on people worldwide to exercise caution and have an emergency contingency plan when traveling throughout the United States. Amnesty International explained that its “Travel Advisory” was issued in light of ongoing high levels of gun violence in the country.

Naturally, at least one eating disorder organization reserved its place at the head of the “Travel Advisory” histrionics table.

On Friday, July 7, 2023, the International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals (“iaedp”) African American Eating Disorders Professionals/ Black, Indigenous, People of Color Committee (AAEDP-BIPOC) issued a release containing the following statement:

“We, as the leadership of iaedp’s African American Eating Disorders Professionals/Black, Indigenous, People of Color (AAEDP-BIPOC) Committees understand that many of you may have concerns about our upcoming spring 2024 Symposium in Orlando and the travel advisory issued by the NAACP for the State of Florida. We respect and understand those of you who opt to not participate in this current climate. But know that we also see this as an opportunity to show up, stand up, and be heard.”

This current climate? Presumably this refers to the current political clown show being perpetrated by both major political parties and their cheerleading, media lapdogs.

Nonetheless, let’s delve further.

As previously shown, The NAACP’s “Travel Advisory” utilized inflammatory, same tribe attracting language designed to elicit fear, divisiveness and animosity. Florida is openly hostile to African Americans? Hate inspired?  A war against diversity and inclusion principles?

If so, let’s look at statistics generated by independent entities which evidence the manner in which Florida is “openly hostile”:

1. A Pew Research Center study found that on a national scale, Florida moved into the number one spot in the United States for black-owned businesses, the number two spot for Hispanic-owned businesses and the number two spot for women-owned businesses.
2. Florida had one of the top three lowest black unemployment rates in the country in the first quarter of 2023, according to the Economic Policy Institute.
3. According to US News & World Report,  Florida ranks third in the United States for its public education system.
4. Florida is the highest-rated state in the country in public higher education according to the US New & World Report.
5. Florida was ranked the second-best state for education by the American Legislative Exchange Council’s Report Card on American Education.
6. No city or town in Florida cracked the most recent list of the top 25 “most dangerous places” compiled by US News & World Report.
7. The City of Tampa recently touted data that showed it had the second-lowest violent crime rate of similarly sized cities throughout the U.S.
8. The Washington Examiner reports Florida’s public school system ranks among the top five in the country and gets higher marks for racial equality in education than does California, New York, or Maryland – the latter state being the home of the NAACP’s headquarters.
9. While Florida’s equality rating with US News and World Report comes in at 22nd in the nation, it still gets higher marks on a range of measures of equality than Connecticut, Illinois, and even California.
10. Florida ranks 12th in closing the unemployment gap by race.
11. African Americans have a higher degree of safety in Florida than in most states. In 2o2o, Florida law enforcement recorded 127 hate crimes compared with 1,537 in California and 466 in New York.
12. According to the FBI, the reported hate crime rate in Florida was .6 per 100,000 people as compared to 3.1 per 100,000 in California.

These statistics indicate the State of Florida ranks among the best states for African Americans with regard to crime, education and business opportunities. So, how does this remotely indicate the State of Florida is openly hostile and/or hate inspired?

Only by removing all facts, statistics, reason, logic and accountability, only then the NAACP’s statement even approaches the same area code as the truth. And yet, we cannot let truth stand in the way of divisive, political statements and knee jerk, reactionary responses made by some mental health organizations.

So, addressing the statement made by iaedp’s committee [which has the longest name in the history of God] one must question what concerns are so substantial that they cause eating disorder professionals to abdicate their non-delegable duty to families suffering from eating disorders?

That they may discover that Florida’s public education system exceeds the education in their home state?

That they may discover that Florida’s crime rate is lower than that which exists in their home state?

That they may discover that Florida’s business environment for African American’s far exceeds that which exists within their home state?

That they may discover, according to the Florida Chamber of Commerce, there are more than 250,000 Black-owned businesses in Florida, and they collectively employ 77,136 Floridians and represent an annual payroll of $2.63 billion? 

That Mickey Mouse may leave Disney World and go on a crime rampage because Disney stock lost $123 billion in value in 2022 alone because Disney is pursuing woke policies?

That they choose to follow political statements which are not based in fact in order to embrace their own, short-sighted ideological views? And in doing so, they diminish the needs of the families suffering from eating disorders and place them lower on a list of priorities.

For that matter, why would any eating disorder organization follow, let alone embrace any political statements or views espoused by either of the two major political parties? 

Don’t eating disorders transcend politics? Don’t eating disorders impact all races, genders, communities and people across the globe?

Certainly, there are significant issues which exist with regard to access to medical and mental health care.

There is no dispute that access to medical and mental health care is inequitable. The healthcare system in the United States is remarkably flawed. Millions of people slip through cracks rivaling the size of the Grand Canyon. Yet, how is blindly following political agendas and embracing dogma with no supporting facts, evidence or reason going to address a healthcare system of inequities?

Instead, shouldn’t we focus on utilizing people’s voting power to improve care and advance health equity? By electing officials whose vision matches your own, voting power improves laws and policies which increase access to mental healthcare. Or pursuing an economic agenda for better access to mental healthcare with both government and commercial interests by motivating stakeholders to make change because a health equity-focused policy aligns with a government investment value. Or treating mental health disparities as a workforce issue.

Addressing inequities in mental healthcare is complex and multifactorial. We must be able to intelligently collaborate and work toward grand, cross-cultural solutions. Simply covering your eyes, placing your fingers in your ears and following vacuous statements which have no supporting facts or reason lead to only one result, that is, a reduction in the quality of care and increasing the divisiveness and backstabbing so rampant in the community.

And if you place your ideological and political views over the needs of our families who are impacted by eating disorders, then you are part of the problem.

And when you become part of the problem and not part of the solution, you very well may find yourself being called out to answer for being part of the problem. Your choice is simple… be part of the problem or be part of the solution.

Be the solution.

How does your idea, or theory, or statement or raison d’être help those families whose loved ones are suffering from eating disorders?

That is the question. The fundamental question. THE question that every organization, research professional, clinician, or advocate needs to be asking themselves.

Then after deep self-reflection, hopefully they have a substantive, powerful answer affirming their commitment to the family. For the greater good.

Everything you do, from something as seemingly small as replacing an “e” in a word with an asterisk, to using pronouns after your name, to fighting with insurance claims adjusters, to fighting with peer review doctors, to fighting over the wording of a survey that very few people will read … everything you do must be placed under the lens of “how is this helping the families who are suffering right now.”

What is the power of your message and how does that help those families who are so struggling right now?

Every organization, whether its focus is on eating disorders, mental health in general, or corporate work, must be greater than that one person who leads it. That person who may lead those entities is merely a conduit for the message that organization embraces.

It can never be about one individual. The issues and complexities in the research and treatment of eating disorders are far too vast for one person.

The series, Ted Lasso provides some insight into this.  In the show, Trent Crimm, a talented reporter/author who has been shadowing the team is writing a book about the season. He asks Coach Lasso for his input on a draft of the book. The only advice Lasso gives is:

A number of people have expressed concern that the eating disorder community is more splintered and divisive than at any other time. This statement, if true, is not just concerning but incredibly sad. 

After all, doesn’t everyone have the same end goal? Isn’t everyone’s long game the same, that is helping as many people, as many families as is humanly possible? Aren’t we all working toward the same goal?

And if we are all working toward the same goal, how can there be division? How can organizations in the community possibly be splintered? Doesn’t every entity have a common goal of increasing our understanding of eating disorders and then utilizing intelligent, evidence-based treatment to help the most families. A common goal for the common good.

If that is the case, aren’t we justified in asking whether organizations in the community are truly splintered? Does divisiveness come from organizations? The answers to these questions are fairly obvious. No, of course not.

Organizations do not have egos. Organizations do not have the frailties which define people’s existence. Organizations do not have feelings and emotions. Organizations do not implement emotion-based conduct designed to back stab and hurt.

But individuals do. People certainly do.

And it is from those frailties, it is from the egos, it is from the dysfunctionality which exist in some of our feelings and emotions, when allowed to define our very existence, which cause us to fail. That cause divisiveness. That blur our eyesight from its focus on a common cause.

And so to all, I ask us individually and collectively to explore our own ego. For those who have reached the stage where you are concerned with your legacy, I ask you to put those thoughts aside. Just be the authentic you. Don’t worry about your legacy.  History will make its own judgments.

To those “closed groups” on Facebook and other social media which only allow people of “like minds” to join and post, open your groups, open your minds, open your hearts. You know what you know but you don’t know what you don’t know. Do not remain an echo chamber which only resonates your own ideas and opinions. Stretch the boundaries of your knowledge and imagination by listening with an open mind to others.

To those in the community who know the identities of those who oppose or differ with your views or articles, to those whom you do not respect, reach out to them in the spirit of professionalism. Seek to acquire new knowledge. Seek to collaborate. Seek to expand your role as a mere conduit for a message by expanding the breadth and substance of a more powerful message.

Explore the limitless capacity of love by removing your ego. Become that person who brings divergent messages together. Be that person who finds a way to help people who are so imprisoned by their own pain, fear or insecurity, to find comfort and reassurance from all sources. Become that person whose message is so powerful, that even people who initially oppose you and not necessarily your message stand up, take notice and become curious and open.

If we do those things, if we embrace the reality that “it is not about us, it never was,” then we can get to that place where we are able to help those families who are so suffering from this insidious illness.

Because after all … isn’t that truly our one universal goal?

In the iconic television series, “Ted Lasso,” Coach Ted Lasso is challenged to a game of darts by the series villain, Rupert Mannion. Mannion brilliantly plays the role of the bad guy, spinning webs of deceit and betrayal wherever he goes. Lasso plays a bumbling, seemingly out of his element, eternal optimist brought in to coach a soccer team in the highest division in the UK. Unbeknownst to Lasso, he was specifically brought in to fail. And yet.

During the dart game, in which Manion “sandbagged” his own skills, so too did Lasso.  Which leads to one of Lasso’s many great lines, “I saw this quote by Walt Whitman, it was painted on a wall there, it said, Be Curious, Not Judgmental. And I like that.”

As the game reached its climax, Lasso remarked, “All them fellas that used to belittle me, not a single one of them were curious. You know, they thought they had everything figured out, so they judged everything. And they judged everyone. And I realized that their underestimating me, who I was had nothing to do with it. For if they were curious, they would have asked questions. You know.”

Be Curious … Not Judgmental.

The latest “Be Curiosity Not Judgmental” test happened on June 12, 2023. On that date, a study was published online involving obesity and the brain. Of course, the study itself was not free and would cost you $29.99 if you did not have keys to that Magic Kingdom.

Various media outlets published an article about the study the same day. Some of these articles were entitled: 

“Obesity Changes the Brain, With No Sign of Reversibility, researchers find.”

“Obesity impairs brain responses to nutrients, even after weight loss, study finds.” 

“Obesity changes the brain, with no sign of reversibility, expert says.”

“Obesity impairs brain responses to nutrients, even after weight loss, study finds.”

“Obesity can mess with the way your brain reacts to food to stop you feeling full — and the damage may be permanent.”

One study, a number of different media outlets and articles.

The study itself is 19 pages long with a number of charts, tables, footnotes and more multi-syllabic words than a Chinese translation of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

And yet, when any study mentions the word, “Obesity,” a certain group grabs their pitchforks, they light their torches, they figuratively march on whatever publication dares to mention the “O” word and they protest mightily. Most will never even read the study. They don’t even need to review the study. (Or the numerous other studies addressing the brain and the biological aspects and obesity and eating disorders.)

Some people don’t need to ask any questions. Some don’t need to seek greater enlightenment. Some don’t need to be curious. They know what they know. Their judgment is in. This is true even for professionals in the eating disorder industry. Those who refuse to even spell the word, “Obesity.”  As if putting an asterisk in place of the letter “e” will signal to the medical community, the mental health community at large, and for that matter, society at large, that they have greater knowledge than anyone else.

Your judgment is in.

You do not need to ask any questions.

You do not need to seek higher knowledge.

You dare not listen to opinions different than yours.

More’s the pity.

Recently, I received a social media message part of which read, “You say you stand [for] those who have experienced these deadly disorders but you don’t give that grace to those who don’t fit your narrative.”

This statement piqued my curiosity. And raised numerous questions in my mind. It made me wonder, “what is my narrative?”  For that matter, do I even have a narrative?

I have had the privilege of representing the stereotypical “little, rich, white girl.” I have also had the privilege of representing an incredibly strong willed, African-American lesbian woman with a high BMI. I have represented and helped boys, men, women, girls, families. I have had giants in the eating disorder community befriend me. I have helped people suffering from this insidious illness to get into treatment centers.

I have rejoiced with those who have recovered. I have mourned with those whose beloved children or loved ones succumbed to this illness.

And then, it hit me. 

Why do we even need a narrative? Aren’t eating disorders the true and only villain? The only opponent? Isn’t that enough? Isn’t having a common opponent all we really need?

Isn’t it enough that eating disorders take the lives of our loved ones? Isn’t it enough that eating disorders take the physical health, the mental health, the happiness, the joy, the love out of life?

How and why have we let the tribal mentality so prevalent in national politics become pervasive in the eating disorder community? Isn’t it enough that our children are being sacrificed each and every day?

Why the petty arguments in the eating disorder community? Why the backstabbing?  Why the fear? Why the ignorance?

Have we really forgotten that which is so important?

Why do we attempt to shut out intelligent voices who disagree with our viewpoints? Isn’t the very best way to learn, to expand our knowledge, is to surround yourself with intelligent people who disagree with your views?

What happened to curiosity? What happened to our relentless pursuit of knowledge, to explore the vast untapped, resources of knowledge that have eluded us?

Isn’t collaboration in our families’ best interest? Isn’t the exchange of differing viewpoints of the utmost importance? Why can’t we strongly and passionately disagree on topics and issues without attacking the person? [That last question comes from the Steven Dunn School of Hypocrisy.]

Why can’t we have a community wherein all intelligent, cogent viewpoints are discussed openly and with an open mind, an open heart and a willing soul?

Why can’t we get to that one day where we as a community can say … Bar-B-Que sauce?