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The Best of Times … the Worst of Times: Real Life in the Age of Social Media

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities,

Dickens’ well-known quote reflects the contradictory nature of the era it describes, the French Revolution and the Industrial Revolution, where societal extremes of wisdom and foolishness, belief and doubt, and hope and despair coexisted. The phrase is often used today to describe any period of conflicting circumstances, where seemingly opposite conditions exist simultaneously. 

Dickens captured an era riven by contradiction—one that is strikingly familiar in our decaying, digital age. Today, we move through a world that offers extraordinary access, unprecedented connectivity, and boundless opportunities for expression. Yet those same spaces are shaped by curated identities, algorithm-fed anxieties, and an ever-growing sense of distance among people who are, paradoxically, more connected than ever.

The fears, insecurities and cowardice which define the essence of keyboard warriors have come to define their very lives. And pushes them even further from humanity.

It Was the Best of Times: The Goodness of Real Life

Real life … messy, unpredictable and intimate remains the realm where meaning truly accrues and matters.

When I am out in public, be it the local dog park, a mixed-use shopping retail development, restaurants, the courthouse, bars, going for walks, I interact with people from all walks of life. Men, women, numerous races and ages. Each time, there is laughter, discussions centered on our families, our pets, the holidays, our health, the beauty of the day. I have dear friends from both ends of the political spectrum. We socialize, party together, laugh together.

In real life, conversations are not filtered through screens or stripped of tone and nuance. A friend’s laughter, the warmth of a handshake, the look in someone’s eyes when they understand you … these moments carry a weight no number of “likes” can replicate. Human relationships deepen through vulnerability, shared experience, and presence. Real life offers the “age of wisdom,” where insight grows not from viral posts but from quiet reflection, trial and error, and authentic connection.

Real experiences ground us. They tether us to something permanent and tangible: the smell of freshly cut grass in the springtime, the scent of the Christmas tree, the chaos of family gatherings, the comfort of routines, the joy of unexpected kindness. These are the “seasons of light,” moments illuminated by genuine human engagement.

It Was the Worst of Times: The Digital Landscape of Angst and Despair

Yet we live simultaneously in a world where social media defines culture. Platforms promise connection but often deliver its hollow imitation.

To properly illustrate the decay of society, one need only understand that the financial goal of the five (5) wealthiest corporations in the United States is attained by enticing us to immerse ourselves completely in our personal devices, to remove ourselves from real life and to exist solely on social media. To isolate ourselves. To limit our face-to-face human interaction. That insures their financial success while insuring the destruction of our well-being.

Here, the “age of foolishness” reigns … where impulsive opinions eclipse thoughtful dialogue and where appearance overshadows substance. Belief contorts into echo chambers, while incredulity becomes a reflex to any idea that challenges our curated worldview. We scroll endlessly, absorbing news of tragedies, political battles, and social comparisons until the world feels saturated with crisis. Cowardice and fear are the watchwords. If you do not agree with someone’s viewpoints? You need only “block them” on social media. With a keystroke, you have eliminated intelligent discourse and the expanding of your mind.

We are inundated with political parties disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing. Promulgating the power of their own party over the needs of the Republic. Indeed, politics has become a new religion rather than an enlightened arena where we can engage in intelligent conversation with a shared goal, the well-being of our nation. Politics is now pop culture. Name calling. Inflammatory labeling. Each tribe remaining in the safety and comfort of their own echo chamber. Pundits opining that we are closer to a civil war now than at any time since the end of the Civil War.

There is the parade of angst, personal attacks, tribal entrenchment, absolutism, and fear … the very worst of our qualities.

This is the “season of darkness.” Online, despair grows quietly: the loneliness of constant comparison, the fear of missing out, the anxiety of measuring oneself against the polished illusions of others. Validation is quantified, self-worth becomes algorithmic, and interactions feel more transactional than relational.

However, when people experience “real life” and interact personally with their fellow humans, more often than not, it is our goodness which shines brightly. Not our disagreements. When pain, anxiety and fear are disclosed, it is in the context of a safe place to be shared and cared for by people who want only the best for you. It is tragic that we have unnecessarily permitted social media to diminish our human connection.

In this winter of digital despair, everything is visible, yet little feels real.

The Spring of Hope: Rekindling Humanity in a Connected Age

Despite its cold edges, social media also holds the “spring of hope.” It has connected the isolated, amplified marginalized voices, and spread information at breathtaking speed. But harnessing its good requires remembering that platforms are tools, not substitutes, for human connection.

We can reclaim the best of both worlds by grounding ourselves in real relationships while using digital spaces intentionally. Social media should supplement our lives, not consume them. It should extend community, not replace it.

Choose Light Over Darkness

Just as Dickens depicted an age torn between extremes, we too, navigate a world of contrasts. The best of times and the worst of times coexist in our hands … literally, in the glowing rectangles we carry everywhere.

The goodness of real life lies in its humanity. The manner in which our souls seek out to connect with others. The despair of social media lies in its impersonality. By choosing presence over performance, conversation over commentary, and authenticity over algorithms, we can keep the light from being swallowed by the dark.

In the end, it is up to us to determine which “season” defines our era.

When Not Awkward Becomes …

On January 8, 2024, I had the pleasure of appearing on the “Making it Awkward” podcast hosted by Jessica Wilson, MS, RD, and Whitney Trotter, DNP.

As I stated in a prior article, there is no doubt that on some issues, our views are very different… at times even opposite. However on that day, I thought there was a feeling of respect, of professionalism, of courtesy. I certainly extended those qualities to the two hosts. However, it would appear that those feelings of respect and professionalism on the part of the esteemed hosts may have ended that day, if they existed at all.

After my appearance on the podcast and before it was disseminated, I contacted Ms. Wilson and Ms. Trotter, thanked them for the opportunity and on two occasions discussed iaedp’s certification process and how the BIPOC community could get involved at the earliest level. The exact language I used was:

(The First email)

“Also, I will be sending to you in the next few days an email talking about iaedp’s certification process. The BIPOC Committee at iaedp, and the BIPOC community as a whole, have an incredible opportunity to be on the ground floor in helping come up with new certification guidelines. More to follow.”

(The Second email)

“Regarding the “certification program,” we are facing a unique challenge. In one of two ways, the eating disorder certification program is going to change, to grow, to evolve in the next few years.  First, the Court may very well take away the certification program from iaedp and assign it to an established board specializing in overseeing certification programs.  Or two, Ms. Harken will decide she has had enough and will step away. These are inevitabilities.”

“And the BIPOC Committee of iaedp as well as BIPOC advocates have the opportunity to have their voices heard, to be part of the process which changes certification, to have the certification program become much more fair and available to all. However, this requires that the BIPOC community come together, to reach agreement on how best the certification process can be changed to meet the needs of the BIPOC community and to speak with one, mighty, united voice.”

“But, that voice has to be clear. That voice has to provide real life, workable, reasonable solutions which can be implemented.

I believe you two are in a place where you can be the harbingers of this change, this voice. But, this must be organized expeditiously and wisely. I also have no doubt that the obstacles are many and the way forward is difficult. Then again, what great thing was ever accomplished without hardship?”

So, what was their response?

Ms. Trotter responded with:

“Thanks so much for the feedback. We’ve heard positive reviews as well- which has been encouraging. There are several folks on the IADEP BIPOC subcommittee who I’m sure would be interested in helping with the certification process. It’s not a task that I can undertake but I appreciate you reaching out and asking.” 

Ms. Wilson responded with:

“I cannot take on the full task of improving the certification, but I’m happy to provide paid consultation to those who are interested in my experience.”

Interesting. It appears as if their collective response was tantamount to, “We cannot be bothered to undertake such a momentous task knowing that progress and obtaining results which could help the BIPOC community is beyond us. And in Ms. Wilson’s case, “unless of course, you pay me to participate.”

To be on the ground floor of building a foundation that would inevitably help the BIPOC community. What an incredible opportunity. But Ms. Wilson and Ms. Trotter chose to not participate. To not be influencers. To not engage in bettering the community in this manner.

Ms. Wilson and Ms. Trotter then conducted Part 2 of the discussion and invited Meghan Cichy to appear. A majority of that podcast was dedicated to, “Steven Dunn is a loon, he has it all wrong, let’s run down him and his views, read his mind and epitomize the name of their podcast, ‘Making it Awkward.’”

After listening to Part 2 of the Podcast, and its many inherent flaws, it would have been so very easy to go on the attack, pick apart Part 2 of the Podcast, pointing out the many inaccuracies, inconsistencies and false narratives. But, to what end? What would be accomplished other than causing a few more rifts in the community? Of hurting others for their views no matter how misguided.

Instead, I reached out to Ms. Wilson and Ms. Trotter.  My email stated the following:

“I had the chance to listen to your Litigation Podcast 2. I can tell you I do enjoy the different points of views you bring out from different guests. And what a learning experience it is hearing other’s opinions. So, thank you!

There were a number of points that could use clarification but, it is what it is.

Again, I appreciate the opportunity to be on the podcast and would welcome any future interaction.

Oh… and I am SOOOO sending you both Christmas cards!”

To date, Ms. Trotter and Ms. Wilson have not responded to that email.

There comes a point where the hand we extend in friendship cannot be turned into a fist. A point where we continue to seek understanding and compassion even if those around us do not. Someone must show compassion and understanding for those who are in such internal turmoil and pain.

In this matter, damage was done and opportunities lost. Why compound it? An opportunity to collaborate, to bring together people of divergent viewpoints and opinions for the betterment of those suffering from eating disorders was not recognized and was lost. Perhaps grace, acceptance of other people’s viewpoints, respecting them even if you disagree with them are foreign concepts to some.

As I reflect upon my interaction with Ms. Trotter and Ms. Wilson, I have no doubt I gained some insight especially on sensitive issues and topics which have the potential to be incredibly awkward. Respecting the person, treating them with courtesy, with respect, with civility is the best weapon to diffuse awkward topics and issues. To turn awkward issues into issues upon which we can work together even as we maintain divergent points of view. That is a special gift. That is the essence of making awkward not awkward.

Because undoubtedly, our end goal is the same. That is, saving as many lives as humanly possible. Helping as many people in pain and suffering as we possibly can. Aren’t we all working toward that same, end goal?

The Power of the Message CANNOT be lost because of the false narrative that the Image of the Messenger is far more important. When the focus is on the messenger and not the message, the message is lost, the end goal is pushed further away and we as a community suffer.

Which results in more pain, more harm, more loss endured by families suffering from eating disorders. And when that happens … we all lose.