When people, organizations, and yes, even nations have strong disagreements, it seems to be human nature to focus on the need to be right. We look at existing problems myopically. It has become ingrained that we must be correct. We listen to reply … not to learn. And somewhere along the way, we lose our humanity.

Our humanity.

The essence of who we are, who we complex, yet fragile people are, becomes secondary if not lost altogether.

Our humanity.

This reality was recently brought home in an unexpected way. While on vacation, I was bobbing around in the Atlantic Ocean on the eastern most island in the Caribbean. I got this feeling of being a speck really, at the mercy of a force far greater than me. The ocean, its deep mysteries, its majestic nature, its unique characteristics, was made manifest as wave after wave pressed its might against me. Unstoppable. Unrelenting. I was in the presence of an overwhelming force, filled with its own living organisms and truth be told, I was helpless and at its mercy.

One individual. One human. Overwhelmed by the reality that the forces around me could take a life, any life, my life, without hesitation or delay. There was no humanity that I could see.

And yet, it is humanity about which we must be keenly aware. Especially in times of conflict, strife and crisis.

By now, most people know or have heard about the lawsuit involving Bonnie Harken, iaedp and the three (3) directors overseeing all of the corporate chapters. People may know the lawsuit alleges and illegal tying agreement involving certification and iaedp membership and mandatory attendance at iaedp’s symposium. This by itself would be a large obstacle.

But that is not the only huge obstacle being faced.  Complaints have also been directed against iaedp regarding BIPOC membership and lack of BIPOC leadership. The petition involving those topics (and certification) and calling for Ms. Harken’s resignation, is now up to 208 signatures. This number is incredibly significant when considering the size of the eating disorder community.

Then there is the issue pertaining to the demands for dissolution from iaedp corporate chapters. Baltimore. New Haven. St. Louis. Denver. Central Coast. Baltimore. Phoenix. All wishing to disassociate from the national chapter.

Any person facing these significant obstacles alone would surely question their own motivations and conduct. Your membership and chapters demanding disassociation and your resignation. The heartache knowing that an organization for whom you toiled for 22 years no longer wants you is shattering to the ego of any person.

And now, the stakes have escalated and exposure is far greater. With this added reality, the pressure must be nearly inconceivable. These added stakes now include complaints and requests for investigation being made to:

The Internal Revenue Service

The U.S. Department of Labor

The California Franchise Tax Board

California Senator Dan Cortese

The same Senator Cortese, the Chair of California’s Senate Labor, Public Employment and Retirement Committee who stated, “An independent contractor is a specific designation for self-employed people or businesses engaged in contract work. It’s not a gimmick for organizations to avoid paying for employee healthcare and other benefits or reducing their tax liability. Any company found breaking the law will be brought to justice, and they would certainly have no business advising other companies on labor law.”

If my reading of the law and its interpretation is correct, the tax issues facing not just Bonnie Harken and iaedp, but iaedp’s national board of directors could be momentous.  And result in draconian measures against one and all.

Ms. Harken believed she could run all operations of iaedp and remain outside the purview of state and federal administrative agencies. Most tax-exempt organizations, such as iaedp, are required to withhold and pay federal income tax with respect to wages of their employees in the same manner as for-profit organizations. These organizations are also required to withhold and pay these taxes, also known as Federal Insurance Contributions Act taxes, in the same manner as for-profit organizations.

California requires employers to withhold state income tax from wages paid to employees. There are also three other state payroll taxes.

Presumably, Ms. Harken believed she could get avoid these taxes by classifying herself as an independent contractor and utilizing her dissolved corporation as a “go between” entity.  If she is wrong, the consequences for not just her but iaedp’s board of directors could be financially, mentally, and emotionally catastrophic.

With all of these issues, I cannot begin to fathom the pain, the fear, the uncertainty, the anguish experienced every day by a person facing those insurmountable objects. As the twilight of our existence on this plain overtakes us, most of us hope to be able to look back upon a life well lived and filled with happiness, purpose and love. To be thrust into numerous battles against state and federal agencies would test the resolve and strength of any person. In the twilight of our life and career though? Devastation.

We are all but specks of living tissue. Fragile bodies. Throughout our lives, we face forces so much greater than us. What we are left with as we fight our on-going and dying battles is our humanity.

Humanity.

And grace that must be extended to those in such pain. For in extending grace, we embrace our own humanity. Accountability? Yes, absolutely. But that should never color or diminish extending grace and embracing our humanity.

And the humanity of others.