At a recent meeting I had the privilege of attending, various difficult and divisive issues were discussed. Some of the attendees had strong, diverging opinions. Those opinions were discussed openly and respectfully.
As the discussion evolved, I was struck by the professionalism of this group, the respect that was evident. And then, a thunderbolt from above hit me.
As the meeting progressed, I eventually stated, “I believe the 3 most powerful words a person can say are, ‘I love you.’ I also believe the next 3 most powerful words are, ‘I am sorry.’” Someone then stated, “I thought you were going to say, ‘I was wrong.’” I laughed and stated perhaps those two statements may be 2A and 2B.
“I am sorry.” Powerful words indeed.
To say those words with conviction, to mean them, to have them come from every aspect of your very existence is an incredible demonstration of strength, of humility, of grace, of wisdom. It shows vulnerability. And yet in showing vulnerability, you turn a potential weakness into an incredible example of strength.
That vulnerability, that type of strength, was shown by Dr. Jennifer Gaudiani in a recent social media post which is embedded here:
Perhaps it would have been easier for Dr. Gaudiani to stay on the path upon which she was traveling. But, to embrace a willingness to grow, to acknowledge mistakes of the past, to make amends and to commit to linking arms with others, to broaden one’s mind to greater possibilities may be the truest sign of an evolved soul.
Our society has devolved into tribal warfare. The two major political parties are engaged in perpetuating their own power at the expense of the Republic. Politicians and people in general have become emboldened to make harsh personal attacks instead of intelligently and passionately addressing our differences and the issues confronting us. And that has permeated the mental health and eating disorder communities.
And, I had a part in that.
In attacking Dr. Gaudiani personally, instead of debating, questioning and challenging, in a professional, respectful and yes, passionate manner, the concept of “Terminal Anorexia,” I was wrong. I allowed my deep, personal pain and strong views on this topic to dictate my narrative. And in doing so, I failed. I failed Dr. Gaudiani. I failed myself. I failed the community.
Jennifer, I am sorry.
I can, I must, and I will do better.
Now, make no mistake, as it was proposed last year, I strongly oppose “Terminal Anorexia.” The very term itself is so incredibly divisive, so hurtful. More than most, I am acutely aware of the pain, the soul-wrenching agony which grips parents whose beloved children are taken by this insidious illness.
But that does not give me, nor anyone else, a free pass to say or do anything we please.
I must do better. We must do better. Our families who are suffering every day from this damnable illness deserve the absolute best from the community.
To collaborate. To come together. To save lives. To stand as one.
For those who are currently suffering. For those in the future who will suffer. And for those beloved ones whose lives were taken by this illness. We will do better. As surely we must.
A DAD'S JOURNEY WITH EATING DISORDERS 